looking for jokes but found oxymorons

21 Oxymoron by A moron and a Mormon (s)





1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?



2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?



3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?



4. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?



5. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?



6. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?



7. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?



8. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?



9. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?



10. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?



11. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?



12. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



13. Why is bra singular and panties plural?



14. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?



15. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?



16. How come abbreviated is such a long word?



17. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?



18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?



19. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?



20. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?



21. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?