Looking for jokes about the draft

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've
got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off
to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join
a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old
guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and
hungry'. We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a
while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys
always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I'm
tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up
killing some fanatical S-O-B....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and seria
l number would be a real
brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an
appreciation for guns. Most of us have been using them for years as an
excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone out run a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the
back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best
years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!


If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured
the first night!